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12/07/2005

Kids say the darndest things

I'm a teacher that believes that school should also be fun. I try to make my classroom a place for learning, and also a place that students like to go. I have things that happen every year that make me laugh as well, and most times I don't even try to hide it. I just laugh along with everyone else. It depends, of course, on the situation.

The internet is also a great source of information, and I found these funny school stories online. I think they are worth the read:

At Math time, I told the kids that we were going to talk about Even and Odd. One boy yelled out- "I know that story. It's in the Bible! " After I quit laughing, I said- "I think you mean Adam and Eve. "

I was a teacher in a tutoring center and at the end of every session, we would ask the students quiz questions for extra tokens. I asked, "What are the three primary colors?". One of my students said, " I know- black, white, and Mexican!!" I laughed so hard, I gave him 2 tokens.

A wise school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.

It was Clown Day at school and I was wearing a pair of large, baggy pants with a hula hoop at the waist. One boy peeked in my pants and said, "You look like you could have a party in those pants."

One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say that he found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The boy said, "I pissed in it's ear." The teacher said, "You what?" He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead."

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy %$#@! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

On the first day of class I always conduct an "icebreaker" activity. The students are to stand, introduce themselves, and tell us something most people don't know about them. One student responded: "My name is Chris and I hate people that suck up to the teacher......by the way, Western Civ. is my favorite class."

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In my school a fellow teacher told me this story. While working on reading with a first or second grader she had the student read the sentence "The cat sat on my lap," but instead the student read it as "The cat sh** on my lip." She said she was somehow able to not show her laughter, but I sure did.

9 Comments:

At 3:49 PM, Blogger Orikinla Osinachi. said...

Apologia to trivia?

You made me laugh and I enjoyed the innocent wisdom of kids who don't have hang-ups like us.

 
At 4:53 PM, Blogger Janet said...

I work in an Elementary School and every day is so different. Kids come up with the funniest things! It's great!

 
At 8:02 PM, Blogger dawson said...

great stories! I am sending this link to my elementary school teacher friends!

 
At 10:10 PM, Blogger morealyera said...

what great stories, thanks for sharing!

 
At 4:09 PM, Blogger Marinade Dave said...

Yup. Pretty funny anecdotes there. I had heard the one about the stapled tie a while back. A very good read.

Years ago, Art Linkletter had a program on TV with a segment called, "Kids Say The Darnedest Things." You'd get a big kick out of it.

 
At 5:20 PM, Blogger Lauren said...

Haha! These are hilarious!!!!

 
At 8:28 PM, Blogger Meegan said...

:) Got me giggling out loud at my desk! What a great way to start a Friday. Just had to share your story about the "Three Little Pigs" to the readers of our blog.

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger M. Kingan said...

These were great I have another for you from one of my son's teachers. Of course it was because my son was the culpret.

One day in class the teacher was trying to get everyone calmed down and on task. The classroom rule is that everyone stay in their seats unless given permission to get up (resonable with 13 year olds) My son got up to sharpen his pencil without permission one day. When she told him to sit down immediately, he did just that and sat on the floor right where he had been standing in the middle of the classroom. She said she didn't know whether to scold him or laugh.

 
At 5:03 PM, Blogger Neutron said...

I love the story about the 3 pigs!!

 

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