Bullying - Don't ignore it!
Bullying is a problem all over. Have you ever been bullied? Hopefully not, and hopefully you haven't been the bully. In my school we've had workshops to "Bully-proof our school."
Bullying can be described as many things. It can be teasing, pushing, demanding things, harassing... and there are different levels and stages. Obviously they are all negative behaviors, and should not be tolerated because they make someone else feel bad.
A bully is described as: A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.
How should you handle a bully, or a bullying situation? If you are bullied, or if you witness it, here are some steps to solve the problem:
1) Write down what happened. Include the date and time the event occurred.
2) Don't blame yourself if you're bullied. You didn't deserve it, and it isn't right.
3) Get support from your friends, but don't gather them together for revenge, or a fight.
4) Tell the bully to stop it. If you feel it's safe to do so.
5) Avoid being alone, stay in groups if possible.
6) If you see someone else being bullied, support the victim, not the bully. Tell the bully to stop it.
7) Tell a parent, teacher, adult about it, so you get some support. If you don't get the support you need, tell someone else.
8) Keep telling until the problem is solved!
9) Learn about the school/club harassment policy. If it isn't being followed, ask why it isn't.
10) If you feel scared at any time, ask to see a counselor, or ask to talk to someone.
*All these tips are courtesy of the Red Cross
Not everyone will follow the Golden Rule. But you can!
Here is a poem I found on the site Bullying Online. It sums up the feelings that are gone through. I thought it really puts things in perspective:
I am
I am the person you bullied at school
I am the person who didn't know how to be cool
I am the person that you alienated
I am the person you ridiculed and hate
I am the person who sat on her own
I am the person who walked home alone
I am the person you scared everyday
I am the person who had nothing to say
I am the person with hurt in her eyes
I am the person you never saw cry
I am the person living alone with her fears
I am the person destroyed by her peers
I am the person who drowned in your scorn
I am the person who wished she hadn't been born
I am the person you destroyed for 'fun'
I am the person, but not the only one.
I am the person whose name you don't know
I am the person who just can't let go
I am the person who had feelings, too
And I was a person, just like you.
The poem can be found here, with some extra information from Laura, the author
posted by Mesmur @ 5/08/2008
24 comments
24 Comments:
That is a very poignant and needed post. Very well written and appropriate. Nice work.
Thank you... I appreciate the comment, and compliment.
I think your post is great, but in the socialistic public school system he/she will still have problems.
Thank you for that post, it was very helpful.
Bullies suck. I was bullied a lot in grade school, for reasons I'll never understand. It was always something different. I was too smart, too unpopular, too quiet, wore glasses, liked to read. It took a few years to get past it. It is definitely something that can affect a child for years. Good post.
The last straw for us at our boys' old school was when 4 boys in my oldest son's class "ganged up on him" on the playground (they are 8 and 9 yr olds), and pulled B's pants down three times. Supposedly 3 teachers were "on duty" and none of them saw a thing. The next day, those four boys were still in school and /my/ son was not allowed on that piece of playground equipment!
We objected to the school's handling of this situation and called the district. The district called the school, afterwhich the principal agreed to a meeting with my DH (I was working at the time). She told my husband "How DARE you go to my boss about this...." When I heard that I told DH we better do some extra cleaning around the apartment, because I bet the school would call CPS on us. Guess who showed up on our doorstep a week later saying they had been "referred" by someone at the school?
Looks like bullies are not only on the playground...if you know what I mean.
My youngest son (back in the 70's) was constantly bullied by a boy from down the street. We never solved the problem and when we did ... one of the teenaged sisters tried to accuse my husband of raping her. The police came to the door and told us who the accuser was ... and then laughed because she had such a terrible reputation and was a known liar and trouble maker. They HAD to come to our house ... but they did nothing.
The whole family was like that and thankfully a year or so later they up and moved away.
But the same son was also bullied while in school ... and nothing was ever done then either. It led to some emotional damage that took years to overcome. Bullies are criminals ... and I don't care WHAT age they are .... young OR old.
I also hate bullies. My principal, who's been obligated to lecture about bullying, is actually the biggest bully I know of.
Parents should take the time to talk to children about bullying other kids. Most parents of bullies are perhaps bullies themselves, so it's kind of tough. But, some parents don't even realize that their kids are bullies, so by just talking to their kids about it is no harm done. It might actually prevent further bullying.
Great post. Several good comments made. There are parents who do not realize their child is not perfect and others who do not see the behavior as bullying. Bullies are sly. They know how to stir the pot without getting caught. Too bad teachers end up being blamed b/c a child is bullied. I don't think people realize that we can't see everything and that when you do try to get the full story kids have selective memory, some parents too I would guess...
Loved that post!
keep up the site, it rocks.
Branden, Nubbit.com
That is such a beautiful poem and it doesn't matter how mant times I see it or hear it, it always touches me. Thank you
Good post- and a great poem. I worry that there will always be school bullies among the student population. And I worry that many of the staff who work in so-called management positions are the most manipulative of all the bullies.
this is a very moving post here. Thank you
I like your blog.. I would be happy to link up.
Will, what are you here whining about? You must be a bully too or you wouldn't be so offended.
Bullies target people for a reason. It's complicated.
Very nice post. Everyone suffers from some kind of bullying at certain point of their life. No one can run away from it..
"Please Stop Laughing at Me" is an excellent memoir that deals with bullying. It's possible you have already checked it out, but if you haven't I suggest giving it a try.
I was bullied a lot in school, the teachers never did anything.
I'm not sure about now, but back then if you went to a teacher or principal and you came from a broken home, they usually ignored you. Doing something meant a risk of losing the next football game.
Last night I had a dream about the Vice Principal that ignored me, and finally got to tell him how I felt about it.
Even though it was a long time ago, every now and then somebody from my childhood brings something up. Usually the ones who never moved on.
I have been blogging on this topic. It is a very emotional one. I hope schools and families can continually work together to learn how better to deal with the issue.
http://learn2bebuddies.blogspot.com
I liked the poem - wish there was one with vocab for younger elementary aged students
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Truly speaking I am not aware with this kind of bad activity running in the school but after reading here. I can understand that parents should take the time to talk to children about bullying other kids. There are parents who do not realize their child is not perfect and others who do not see the behavior as bullying.
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